Life Changers

I was talking to my favorite guy yesterday and we were talking about our top 3 most life changing events. We both shared similar top two (being born & Jesus) but his third was surprising. It was me. I am in the top three things that have changed him- in a good way. I was really taken aback by that. I wouldn’t think that I would even be top 25, let alone well within the top 10.

As soon as he said it, I started thinking about all the reasons how I wasn’t “worthy” to be changing his life. Seriously though. If I were to dissect myself and my personality, I would say: prideful, independent, stubborn, too worried about the world and what others think of me, poor follow-through, part of a pack (not a leader). I look to other women, especially at church, and wish I was more like them. I’m really not worthy to be on a list that includes Jesus or an event that physically STARTS life. I think that just proves how much we discount ourselves.

I think we as a people have a collective problem of not realizing how far our light shines. A friend just the other day sent a picture of a recently found encouragement note I sent her 4 years ago, saying it founded a friendship and let her know she was welcome in a new community after all the change that comes with leaving home and going to college. I was just writing thoughts that were true – I enjoy your company and want you to stick around and keep hanging out with me! I didn’t know she would keep it all these years or that it was one of the factors in keeping her in the community. I’m also always astounded when my best friend calls me a role model, mostly because she knows my faults probably better than I know myself. And this girl is awesome. She’s patient, smart, gorgeous, and I’m just over here floundering around being stubborn but not stubborn enough to follow through and get what I want (see, even my faults have faults), but yet, I am an inspiration to her.

It’s so cool how God uses us to grow His kingdom. He knows my strengths and develops them in ways we can’t comprehend and His timing is perfect. I can be putting myself down for not going 5,000 steps for the day and end up walking around my room 98 times to get them in before midnight and then I get a text from a friend saying they’re so thankful for my friendship and the time I spend with them. That’s God telling me my worth isn’t in how many steps I walk in a day but in the relationships I foster and my actions that show people who He is, because that’s my end goal. That’s God telling me that I’m just as important a part in a friendship as the other person. The 5,000 steps is for me, but everything else is for God.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:16 NIV)

Oh yeah, and, by the way, I hit my step goal and wake-up time every day this long and glorious, holiday weekend!


1. >5,000 steps (started 5/11): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
2. 5:30AM (starting 5/19): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21

Life Changers

Inspiration

It’s been a week and I think it’s time to remove the “blog every day” from my daily to-do list. Plain and simple, I just lack the things that would make that possible. I don’t go on grand adventures daily, I don’t take beautiful pictures to put up instead of words, I don’t have wonderful how-to guides to help other people. Every time I haven’t posted, I’ve opened up a new post window and just stared at a blank screen and decided I just didn’t have anything to say. It was making me feel pretty terrible about myself. I mean, look how many “I don’t”s I had above. The lack of things that I think will make me better.

So instead of thinking of all the “I don’t”s, I want to come up with the “I do”s that make it difficult to find inspiration or the time to type up some thoughts.

  • I DO have a full-time indoor job, sitting in front of a computer all day analyzing numbers. I can talk all day about budgeting, but just because I can does not mean I should.
  • DO (try to) live in the moment when I’m spending time with friends and family, focusing on them instead of worrying about coming up with some grand idea to blog about.
  • DO enjoy doing a ton of things (especially finding new places to go, new ways to do my hair, and *nerd alert* reading the news) when I find myself with time to spend on the internet.

I wanted to come up with 3 dos to cancel out the 3 don’ts. Though I was successful, it still took me so much longer to come up with the positive reasons than the negative ones. Why do we always think in terms of what we’re lacking when we have so much? I was reading another blog post (Hannah Brencher) about how she is terrible at budgeting but identified that she can use her skills to help create a budget template that makes her excited to budget. She used her dos to cancel out her don’ts and that’s just awesome. Also, she’s awesome, everyone read about her (my all of 3 readers… 2 of which already do).

PS. Someone broke a step record with grabbing her 5k steps BEFORE 10AM #crushedit


Habits:

1. >5,000 steps (started 5/11): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
2. Blog posts (started 5/14): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
3. 5:30AM (starting 5/19): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21

Double PS. Crossing off the whole blog post habit line lifted such a huge weight off my shoulders. Obviously the right thing to do.

Inspiration

Scary Dreams

Why is it that you never sleep well when you know you have to wake up early the next day? I started waking up around 4AM this morning and would go between sleep and consciousness every 15 minutes or so. I was able to get up and go through the day WITH NO CAFFEINE. I’ll mark that as a win in my book. I hope I can do the same tomorrow!

I’ve been thinking a lot about weddings lately, since my summer is chockful of them and I will be attending one this weekend. It’s such an exciting time for the couple, getting to be celebrated in their choices to spend a forever with another individual and I’m excited for that next chapter in all my friends’ lives! Heck, I’ve been dreaming of my own wedding since I was little! Instead of counting sheep, I would plan wedding details (I’m not kidding, it helped me fall asleep because there are so many details you need to account for)! I guess I’ve always been a planner 🙂

Even so, I’m probably more excited for my marriage and being able to share my life with someone I care so deeply about. Someone to stand by me to fulfill my hopes and dreams while at the same time helping them fulfill theirs and seeing the joy that brings them. That being said, I am honestly a little scared to start that new chapter. It’s something that (mostly) everyone goes through so I know I will make it through, but there is so much change involved. It means saying goodbye to sleepovers with my best friends and driving around late at night to clear my head. It means that someone will always be there to know that I’m watching The Bachelorette premiere for a 3rd time (no comment) or see my horrific bed head in the morning and still love me anyways. My friend has been counting down the days until her wedding on instagram for the past few days and today I think she hit the nail on the head:

We would like to ask if you would pray right now over our upcoming wedding, and more importantly our marriage. It is a wonderful and yet challenging undertaking, and we truly believe in the power of prayer to help guide us through it. Thank you so much in advance!

I feel that people get so wrapped up in crossing huge life milestones off their to-do list that they forget what comes next. Yes, I graduated. Oh wait, I have to find a job? I got married, you mean I have to live with this person even when they have smelly poops? I just had a baby and can’t wait to have cute newborn photos taken, what do you mean this living thing is going to be dependent on me for 18+ years? Planning a wedding is just one huge checklist with the end goal of a marriage and you want your friends and family to look to you and say “Wow, I want a marriage like that.” At least, that’s what I’m looking for.


1. >5,000 steps (started 5/11): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
2. Blog posts (started 5/14): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
3. 5:30AM (starting 5/19): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21

UPDATE: For some reason, wordpress is thinking I posted this on May 20th. NOT SO. Definitely got it in at 10:30PM on May 19th.

Scary Dreams

Worst Blogger Ever

So apparently habits are hard to keep up when YOU DON’T REALLY TRY. Who would have thought? Anywho, I was MIA all weekend so that I could spend the precious time I had to be in the present with the people I had the opportunity to see.

This weekend was mostly spent celebrating relationships, whether it be my own or purchasing gifts for friends that are moving into a new (scary) season of MARRIAGE. I have a number of weddings throughout the summer to go to so I have weddings on the brain, and I’m sure a post or two (or ten) will probably be about it! I was surprised with 6th-row tickets to the Tour de Compadres tour (needtobreathe, Ben Rector, Colony House, Drew Holcomb, etc) on Saturday and it was SO GREAT. I loved every second of it; the music was FANTASTIC (and Ben Rector is my absolute favorite).

IMG_3717[1]

See picture above WITH NO ZOOM!! We were SO CLOSE and all the music was great. I’m not feeling super eloquent using the word “so” and seeing how many times I can say great. It reminds me of the Dead Poet’s Society quote about using the word very:

So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys – to woo women – and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.

Good thing I’m not trying to woo any women!

Well, onto the habits part. I did awfully with the blog posts (obviously) and did slightly less terrible with the steps. I was unsuccessful on Friday, but more than doubled what I needed on Saturday (some of which were probably aided with clapping on the concert, but that still counts, right?). I’m guessing I also made my step count on Sunday, but I don’t know for sure since I left my tracker on the charger all day, but I think I made it.

I struggled a lot with what my next habit should be. Eat something green with every meal? Declutter something in my life every day? Give up TV? Those will probably be coming up in a few weeks, but the new one to try right now is: wake up and get out of bed at 5:30 every morning – but of course I didn’t decide this until today when I got out of bed at 7:40 🙂 It will help me have more hours in my day to eat breakfast, have my quiet time, and beautify myself as opposed to rushing to get out the door before 8AM. I’ve always been a morning person, if you consider waking up before all your friends in college after a long night as being a morning person, but it will definitely be a stretch to be up before the sun.


Habits:

1. >5,000 steps (started 5/11): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
2. Blog posts (started 5/14): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
3. 5:30AM (starting 5/19): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21

Worst Blogger Ever

Single with Bad Habits

First of all, I should say, I’m not single. Well, technically, I am, according to my taxes and the bank, but I have been dating a pretty excellent guy for almost 6 months (who’s even agreed to go shopping with me this weekend!). I’ve been reading blogs left and right for as long as I can remember and I finally mustered up the courage to start one (though I still don’t have the courage to post it all over the place to get reads).

I was thinking what I could write about. I’m not a mom, so I can’t write about my kids/family life (let’s be real here, baby blogs are the cutest). I’m not a fashionista or a chef, so I don’t have fantastic outfits or recipes to post. Finally, it landed. I’m not my perfect self; there are so many things I want to change. From watching less TV and flossing every day to being a more outgoing person and getting rock hard abs (and maybe outfitting myself in a snazzy wardrobe and learning how to make a grilled cheese without the microwave while I’m at it). The saying goes, “It takes 21 days to form a habit” so I’ll catalogue my efforts in developing these habits and just my general thoughts during the day, but I might leave out the gruesome details of flossing every day. I will attempt to add a new habit every Sunday or two and say which one’s I’m sticking with and which ones were fun to try but realistically, it’s just not going to work out.

Don’t get me wrong here, I love myself (in the least conceited way possible), but there’s definitely room for improvement and I’m suffering from the classic girl self-esteem problems. That’s why I titled this blog “Building the Frame.” I’m building myself, hoping to develop good habits so I can be the best me in all the ways I define myself: Christian, daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, babysitter, and in the future, wife and mother (and maybe a writer now!).

Luckily, I started a “goal” on Monday that I can turn into a habit pretty quickly. Log at least 5,000 steps a day on my fitbit. Sounds pretty easy since the recommended amount is closer to 10k, right? Not for a girl with an 8-5 desk job with an hour commute home from work usually. I’ve had this fitbit for 18 months now and I average about 2,500 steps a day just walking around work and my house, so I have to go well out of my way (on a walk, run, or shopping adventure) to hit that 5,000 benchmark. I THINK about being healthy a lot but have really poor follow through (hence this blog), so seeing it written out for me that I’m only moving about 1/4 of the amount I should be has been pretty alarming.

My first “new” habit to start will be to blog every day for 21 days. I feel like this will be the most difficult since I’m not a writer and don’t have anything to write about yet, but hey, I have day one down!


Habits:

1. >5,000 steps: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
2. Blog posts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21

Single with Bad Habits